I would like to tell you something.
The thing is the past couple of weeks I’ve developed these “emotions” for you. Yep. I guess it’s because we hang out a lot then we share the same music, agree on most things in life. This year made me know and discover who you are and I am really grateful and honored that you trust me with your stories.
So bottom line is, I like you. A lot. A lot lot lot.
And I’m saying this to you because I want you to know, and I don’t want to live a life with the regret of not knowing if you felt the same way. Maybe you already felt it and knew about this, but I really don’t care now. What’s important is that I am telling it to you now, from me, words from my lips.
If you see me the way I see you, then I would love for us to spend more quality time together, go out and stuff. There’s really no pressure. But if you don’t, and you just really see me as your friend, then there’s nothing I can do about it. I wouldn’t say “it’s okay” because let’s be honest, it’s not okay and this would probably be the shittiest feelings in the world.
If you don’t reciprocate, then just ignore that I said anything and act as if nothing happened. I know that this confession would never make things the same way it was before, but I would like to try.
Now what do you think?
This is just a really big hassle, to be honest.
I never wanted to like you.
I never wanted to develop these feelings.
I never thought that we would be close.
It’s been months and still the feelings aren’t going anywhere.
I have tried to distance myself and shit and tried to chill and shit but I don’t know I’m becoming more sad about this.
It’s sucking the life out of me and I just really want to get it out of my system.
I’m leaning towards to telling you my feelings. I know that you won’t reciprocate, but I just want to be sure. I don’t want to regret something just because I didn’t ask.
Logistically though I’m like the best choice
I know I should not have looked at your photos.
But damn it you’re like 9 types of attractive
The other day I just got really exhausted from all the work with my store, the photography gigs, the feels for a guy, the physical exhaustion, my thumb which is lacking some flesh because I accidentally cut it off.
I just couldn’t take it anymore and I just cried. Bugsy just asked how I was then suddenly I just burst into tears and sobbed heavily. I just really can’t take it anymore, I am so freaking tired, I felt so unhappy with what I was doing.
I am really thankful for everything that’s happening, but it’s all just happening too fast and the time I give for my school work is being jeopardized already. I don’t want to let these opportunities pass, and I don’t know exactly how to ask for help.
Now I’m still kind of pissed because I broke down. I just don’t really want people to see that side of me, I feel like the walls I built are crumbling down. I would love to trust people more again, but now, I can’t help feeling that some would just always fall short.
You think they’re there, but they’re not. Because sometimes the “i’m just here”, it’s all for show.
Here’s the thing.
If you don’t like me back then okay, fine. I get it.
Just don’t be the fucking jerk who does the guy thing were you act all mean and distant until the girl gets the picture and she goes away.
I fucking get it already okay.
I have moved here!